I might very well owe my life to Poker…

Not because i’m a gambler, which I am, sports in particular and the incredible yearly trip to Vegas I take with my best friends… beyond that, this addictive game of cards was my secret ally and it helped me immensely in my career.

By November of last year things were great, I was performing tons, teaching, had  my own place, everything was incredible and I felt very lucky. Up until then, I had been visited by some close friends and I felt life couldn’t get any better. Economically the past few years have been a struggle, yet I always managed to stay afloat. Suddenly things dried up, or I chose to work a little less to focus on my instrument since I was felt a change coming soon and I felt i had to be prepared.

My life recently changed since discovering The Secret. This is a whole different topic which I will cover without a doubt, but let’s just say I have been working with the Law of Attraction way before I knew of the book and dvd. Anyways, everything made sense. I felt like I had found myself, truly and wholeheartedly I was convinced I knew what life was about and how I was supposed to do things.

Although this certainty still remains, it wasn’t all fun and games.

After the best 2 months of my life, performing all over Europe; I felt untouchable, professionally I was realized. I felt accomplished and I really couldn’t be any happier. Weeks later this life took me to Brazil and Argentina, followed by Costa Rica. I was living and still am, what I feel I deserved. At least professionally speaking. Personally, spiritually and relationally I felt great as well, but somehow i lost myself.

All my meditation, all my affirmations, my routine, my positive thinking, optimism, drive were a bit grey, and I have no idea why to be completely honest with you. I can’t understand why I ever doubted what got me through difficult times in the past. Yes, family and friends are the most important thing for me, but, in a sense my religion or God is not typical… i found and still find a lot of peace in the creative process (ask, believe, receive) but my point is that at some point I steered away from my certainty for a reason, a reason which is still unknown to me, and to some extent since I feel it was a hurdle that I jumped last week and found my stride again, i’m not so sure I want to know the exact reason. I’m not one to shy away from thinking deeply about a subject but to be honest, this one beats me.

Is it a money thing? a time thing? if so, i have had those issues in the past, why did it get to me now? after i saw the effects and benefits of what I believe in… I guess this is a part of life, where nothing is certain except change, death and the fact that Arsenal FC are the greatest football team on the planet, again another topic, hahaha.

I can also say I have no idea what the point of this entry was, but maybe that precisely it, to have none, so maybe one of you can enlighten me. I am such a advocate of writing things down and literally seeing what they are, what they look like and weigh them.

I should listen to myself and  do what i would do.

d

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